December 5th, 2007 Jeremy
Do you know how frustrating it is to go a month without playing xbox (by choice) and then when you get that urge to play a game or two you can’t? Its VERY frustrating! I went a month or so without playing the xbox because it was beginning to bore me. I’d spent endless hours killing people in Call of Duty 3 and all my other games just bored me. But then my hunger to game came back to me. I fell victim to the hunger pains and started up the ‘ol 360 to play some Gears of War with my friend Justin. The loading screen comes up. “oh boy!” I thought, “I’m going to kick some ass.”. That’s about the same time that the xbox froze. “WTF?!?!?!” I yelled loudly. “JEREMY! Don’t say that!” my mom yelled back. So I frantically restarted my box only to find that it froze every time I started it up. So I called xbox tech support.
Now I’d heard nightmarish stories about how MS tech support is horrible. And how you’re always on the phone for like an hour. To my surprise, it wasn’t painful. I called the number and was introduced to the automated voice system. After chatting it up with that guy for a while, I was taken to real live, breathing human! I explained the situation to the guy and he pulled up my xbox’s info and informed me that I was till under warranty (Even though I hadn’t red ringed yet). But he told me to do something that red ringed it. Great! So he gave me some information and MS sent me an empty box and packaging material. I was kind of lazy and waited two weeks before I took it…but eventually I sent it off to Texas (that’s where MS fixes/replaces xbox’s). A week later I was freaking out and wanted my xbox. But I silenced that xbox hunger with a healthy portion of World of Warcraft. Swords, dwarfs, giant spiders, and the Defias Brotherhood.. MmmMmmmMmmm. Just like mom used to make.
The following week I had grown impatient, because I’m an impatient person. So I called up tech support and was like “BITCHES! WHERE DA FUCK MUH XBOX AT?!”. or something along the lines of that. :) The guy informed me that the xbox was scheduled to arrive today. OH SWEET JESUS HOORAY YES! No sooner had I gotten off the phone that the doorbell rang. I seriously made this face- O_O
So I got my xbox back and started it up. It scared me though, because I thought the audio was broken. Turns out one of the p.o.s. gaming cable “router” I bought from gamestop a year ago had a bad audio plug. So here it is two weeks later and I’ve had absolutely no issues with my xbox. It runs quieter, actually. Which means its probably one of the newer xboxes.
In conclusion, despite the rumors, despite the jokes, despite the despitefulness, getting a red ring of death isn’t as painful as it sounds. And getting your xbox replaced is very easy. http://xbox.com/support/
Posted in Gaming, Microsoft, Technology | 3 Comments »
September 23rd, 2007 Jeremy
I love the Pokemon games. That’s right. I said it. I’m a 19 year old that still enjoys a game targeted at 12 year olds. There’s something about those games that is hypnotically addicting. Pokemon grabbed me by the nuts at the age of 11 and hasn’t let go since. So I’m honoring the game with an article dedicated to pointing out and mocking its flaws.
1. Apparently you need Pokemon, or you pass out
In a battle if you run out of Pokemon, you black out (or in the case of Silver/Gold/Crystal “white out”) and magically reappear at a Pokecenter where a nurse will fix your Pokemon. What the hell? One minute you personally are healthy and perfectly capable of living, but the second your beloved little Squirtle gets pwn’d, your brain stops receiving the necessary oxygen and reboots. I’m sure you love Squirtle very much, but if it gets K.O.’d and you follow suite, you need help. That’s a very unhealthy poke-addiction. Amazingly, however, you have enough strength to dish out a couple hundred $$$ to the guy that beat you.
2. Villains use Pokemon to take over the world
Apparently they’ve never heard of guns. Team Rocket and the bad rip-off teams that followed in G/S, R/S, and D/P all have a grand vision of how the world should be. And to make this vision become reality, they use Pokemon to get the job done. The obvious thing to do if a little kid was invading your fortress would be to shoot the brat in the head and hide the body. Do you realize how man world visions could come to be if those morons would just kill the kid?!
3. Noobs can pwn the hell out of adults
The Elite 4 are trained veterans who have been training their Pokemon since they were your age. For some thats like 50 years. And their pokemon have been with them through thick and thin. But you, a young lad who has had your Pokemon for an in-game few months can come along and destroy these veteran’s Pokemon with 1 or 2 attacks.
4. Colors are good names for children
When you start up a new game, you can pick from a few pre-made names, or you can make your own. In each color version of the game, the default name is the color of the game and your rival is the “opposite”. For example (since that last sentence was a run on that made no sense) in Pokemon Red, the default name is Red and your rival is Blue. Fortunately they’ve done away with this, because I don’t think Diamond is a very good name for a boy. At least he’d be a girl’s best friend. </bad joke>.
5. Apparently a bird 1/5your size can fly you away to a city miles away
According to my Pokedex in Pearl, Starly is 1 foot tall, while your character is nearly 5 feet tall. I got a C in Physic, but I’m pretty sure that unless Starly is half ant, it can’t lift something like that. To make matters worse, Starly weighs 4.4 lbs and the character weights 84! Eventually it does start to seem possible, because birds like Pidgeot, the Legendary birds, Fearow, etc are all equal to or greater than your size.
6. Why the hell is there a truck near the St. Anne?!
Okay so there’s 6 things, not 5. But seriously…I know it was the center of the massive Mew-catching hysteria, but seriously. Why was there a truck on an island next to the cruise ship?! I don’t get it! It does nothing!
Posted in Funny, Gaming | 2 Comments »